mymomoness:

Facebook response to my comment on Isis Magazine’s so-called “apology” (just to be clear, this is a response from a guy that has no affiliation with Isis other than liking their page):

No. Just because you’re “offended” doesn’t make you right. Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean that I need to do what you say, consider growing up a little bit and realizing that different people think and believe different things, and that’s fine. Realize that sometimes people will say things that you don’t like, and that’s ok. Just because you don’t like something, just you are *gasp* offended by something. Offense mean, quite literary nothing, and anyone who is offended by that article needs to loosen up and realize you wont like everything that everyone writes. 

The idea, the mere suggestion that because YOU didn’t like a phrase in an essay they published, and because YOU interpreted it as offensive, that it should be censored is horrifying. Does anyone think the author of this article genuinely has something against bi-sexual woman? No, so the issue here is over a line, in an essay that some people interpreted as offensive. So where we’re at right now is you want to censor an essay, because if the way you interpret it. Not the way the author intended it, the way you interpreted it. 

Doing that, I believe would go against many things the writers and editors of Isis believe in. So with all do respect, I do not care about your offense, and neither should anyone else.

Oh, it is ON, motherfucker.

I never said that taking offense makes me right. But to say that it my offense “means nothing” — that the offense of a number of bisexual women who had similar responses to mine “means nothing” — ignores the fact that biphobia does have a real impact in society. This is just a story on the Internet, sure. But it reflects real-life attitudes that are harmful to bisexual people. Pointing that out does not mean I am trying to censor the people at Isis. It means that I am trying to encourage them to be more considerate of other members of the LGBTQIA community. This is a community based on giving each other the acceptance, respect and support that LGBTQIA people are so often denied in a heteronormative society. 

Isis Magazine even says in their statement that they pride themselves on being ”created to give voices to students whose voices aren’t otherwise represented in on-campus publications.” They said so in their apology. As part of the LGBTQIA community, which already focuses enormously on the G and the L and often ignores other orientations, I think bisexuals qualify as people who aren’t heard very often. Their voices matter just as much as anyone else’s. I’m not saying that Isis can’t publish what they want, I’m saying I reserve the right to call them out on it. That is free speech too. When people are hurting me, I have the right to ask them to stop and think about what they are doing. If they want to continue to hurt me anyway, what does that say about them?

I said in my response that I was sure the author didn’t intend offense. Her intentions, however, do not mitigate the real-life effects that these kinds of words have in our society, that result in bisexuals being alienated in a group of people that already knows what that feels like, and how harmful it is. 

"Growing up" means learning to respect other people. "Growing up" means learning when to speak up for yourself and not to let others put you down. "Growing up" means standing up and speaking up against random white dudes who think they reserve the right to decide what is hurtful to other people and what isn’t.

Random white dudes can jabber all they want. I’m not going to stop them. But I reserve the right to have an opinion about their opinions, and in this instance my opinion is that you’re a bigoted asshole. I’m not censoring you. I’m not telling you not to talk, like you’re telling me not to talk. I’m telling you that your opinions reek of ignorance and continuing to air them is making you look worse than it’s making me look. 

Also, they fucked up in as much as they tout themselves as a feminist magazine. If your feminism is biphobic then it’s low grade feminism in the extreme.

I’m angry that I can’t tell anyone from home that I’m bisexual. I’m angry that my sexuality is dismissed as greedy, or experimental, or denial. I’m angry that I have to lie to my family, to all my friends from high school, to most of my friends from college, to everyone at church. I’m angry that I can’t marry a woman in my home state.

So go ahead.

Call me an angry feminist.

You are 100 fucking percent correct.

@belle_vierge - an extract from her post

Why I’m a Feminist (Part Three): Gender Inequality Makes Me Angry (2012)

For me, as a bisexual woman, the matter of bi visibility regardless of current relationships interacts with feminism. Historically, women’s identities have been, to a significant extent, defined in terms of their partners/relationships. I’m not content to be another iteration of this.
Dolanchap

Just a quick note to point out how vile this @AfterEllen article about Romi Klinger by the site’s editor @TrishBendix is.

Ugh, really thought she’d turned a corner, but no.

The point of the article is that Romi describing the biphobia she experiences from her gay castmates is offensive because Bendix “suspect”s that it doesn’t exist. Is Romi a sneaky lying bisexual® or perhaps a pretentious fantastist attention-seeking bisexual® or is she just too stupid to report her lived experience accurately? Bendix doesn’t share her suspicions on this point.

What she does do is dedicate 1,300 words on a lesbian and bisexual women’s site to … actually I don’t have the words. It’s biphobic, it’s misogynistic, it’s slut-shaming.

At the time, I went for “terrible” and “you’ve done a huge disservice to bi women and, frankly, everyone” :)

It touches all those bases (biphobia, misogyny, slut-shaming) in really stereotypical ways which is notable because the thrust of Bendix’s argument is that old “but she fulfils all the negative stereotypes” guff. AWK.

One good thing has come from the unpleasant-and-inconvenient-in-so-many-ways experience of writing this post: I’ve remembered the phrase “saviour complex”. *narrows eyes*

scroll down to the second letter. It’s from a 19 year-old bi woman who’s looking to kick her internalised biphobia in the ass. It’s a great read.

A lot of the advice is pretty nice but the columnist does get it a bit wrong. It really isn’t as simple as having gotten “really into the idea of being The Biggest Homo Ever”. That’s something that does happen to some gay and even some bi people but there’s really nothing in the letter to suggest that that’s the letterwriter’s problem (yes, despite the bit about how she feels about sleeping with women). Perhaps if the columnist had said “Biggest Queer Ever”? Maybe…

Also, note to advice columnists: if a person says something like “I feel kind of hated and left out in the gay blogosphere/community, and I don’t really feel any desire to plunge into heteronormative straight culture” and you don’t mention the bi community…yr doing it wrong!

@ShoutOutJMU is a group blog run by feminists at James Madison University.

Check out this post by an ally(?) who attended a lecture André gave in January that they found it upsetting (in a good way).

Pussy Riot are a Russian, feminist, punk band who are on trial for hooliganism for performing an unauthorized protest performance in a church.

They’ve attracted a lot of international support. @Peachesnisker has rallied to help them. She organised a demo and has put together the above video calling for their release. Participants in the video include @KateNash, @MargaretCho and @ViceCooler.

Anyone see any more nonmonosexual names on the list?

You can sign the Free Pussy Riot! petition here.

You can read more about the video here.

Eddy Northwind, a Kinsey 2, writes about how, despite their dislike of the phrase “born this way”, it’s had an important impact on the acceptance they experience in their community.

Personally, I have definitely made a positive choice to identify as bisexual. I could easily identify as either lesbian or straight, but it’s politically important to me to identify as bi. My identity as a bi woman is grounded in my feminism, my conviction that gender and sexuality are socially constructed, and my commitment to LGBT equality. It’s deeply political- it’s just a different political position from Julie Bindel’s!
Claire, bisexual activist

Another addition to the list of respsonses to Julie Bindel’s biphobic HuffPo piece from last week. This one’s in the HuffPo itself(!)